Relationship Counselling

Relationship counselling is an element in the bespoke sessions we offer to clients and refers to the talking therapy we offer to couples to assist in the improvement of their relationship.

It is offered primarily by Jon, who spent 23 years working from the Manchester Institute for Psychotherapy as a UKCP Registered Psychotherapist, supervisor and trainer. He has been working with couples and individuals in polyamorant relationships since 1998, and ran two slow open psychotherapy groups (one mixed, one mens) for 14 years. His work has, in recent years, been informed by Integral Psychotherapy, Integral Life Coaching, Tantra, Bioenergetics  and Betty Martin’s Wheel of Consent.

We believe that, in order for a relationship to function healthily on a day-to-day basis (and to simplify, let’s say you are a couple):

  1. Both of you need to be in tune with what they need, both from one-another and the rest of the world, and to stay in tune as your needs shift and change from one slice of time to the next.
  2. Both of you need to be able to express to  one another what you need regardless of how unreasonable, selfish or outlandish those needs are because…
  3. …you need to find a way of achieving compromise, which becomes more straightforward when each knows what the other wants.

This is often a lot more difficult to do if your parents programmed you to serve their interests at the expense of your own because the stronger the programming, the less in tune with your own needs you will be. This is true for most of us, to some degree. For the same reason, you may feel ashamed to make your needs known to your partner and, indeed, everyone else. For many couples, this is especially true in matters of sex.

If this rings true, lovely reader, just remember: you only have this one life. Do you want to spend the rest of it hiding your needs from your lover(s) because you feel shame in having them? You were not born feeling shame, none of us are: shame is programmed into us to keep us obedient (often unconsciously) by ancestors, culture and religion.   Just remember that shame is like a vampire, deriving power from remaining hidden in the shadows and perpetuating itself by programming others with a kiss that sucks the vitality out of its victims. And shame is slain through exposure to the light of public validation where we say to you ‘Oh, is that what causes you to be ashamed? Sounds amazing, actually…tell me more...’ Cuts right through the shame-based narrative  like holy water and sunlight on Dracula’s head. The light of validation is powerful healing when you are in a place where you can receive it.

Rosehare Embodied Awakening is the sworn enemy of shame: shame sees us coming and runs screaming.

With your shame transformed into joyful acceptance, the way is clear to communicate honestly. Now the real work can start…

We will work on enabling you to clearly and cleanly communicate your thoughts, feelings and emotions to one another  by co-creating a space which feels safe, respectful, accepting and empathic.  We empower you with tools garnered from Transactional Analysis, Neuro-Linguistic Programming, Non-Violent Communication and other modalities of proven worth. We give you homework and encourage journalling, sometimes separately, sometimes in a ‘relationship journal’. Other elements are added when required.

We have a realistic approach to personal evolution and do not believe in quick fixes. We are, however, confident in our ability to help alleviate some of the more painful aspects of your relationship (if you have these)  in a short period of time, so that each of you can bring enough mindfulness to bear on your deeper issues.

Relationship counselling fee is £120 per hour. If it constitutes part of a bespoke sessional package, this fee will be factored into the total fee. A reduction of 10% is given if six sessions are booked and paid for in advance.